The only way to go is forward.

I returned from my half a year visit in Belgium and now I continue my personal struggles with the system. While I know that I will never be free of responsibilities and someone will always need something from me(even if I never need anything from anyone), I also know that there’s nothing that can’t be managed(if you can’t beat em’ – cheat em’ ). There are still few photos I need to upload, but I will try to move on to other works besides photography. My gallery starts to look a bit blunt and boring since I’ve been concentrating mainly on photography(of which I uploaded only a fraction on display). I also may need a better camera.

I really want to continue my story writing. I have another part written, but I haven’t uploaded it because I don’t remember if I had something left to add into it. I’ll get back to it right when I’m finished with writing my school things....

I was planning on publishing some comic strips. I’ll get back to that also when possible.
Then there’s a million random thoughts. I’m still planning on making some video clips, gif –animations(+ possibly a flash animations that will never be published), a photocomic(combining photography, storytelling and photomanipulation sounds too good to be ignored without trying). The latest idea has been learning oil on canvas painting(I’d like something material more than just digital pictures).

So many things to do and so little time for everything. What can I say? I'm a hostage of own my ideas. Always have been always will be. And the only way to go is forward...

Here once again updating my journal entry for those wanderers who manage to get lost on my page.

I moved out to Belgium some time ago and I’m proceeding with my plans…as soon as I get used to this place. The showers I take are cold the work I do is dirty.
I don’t really have all the fancy stuff in here, but at least I’m moving forward. I don’t really know other people from here than my co-worker, so the only walks I do are with my camera(all the other time I run). Even though it’s a really big noisy city, it’s really interesting and charming in its own way. Not to mention that I have freedom to move into other cities and countries nearby.

I’ll try to make a habit of walking around with my notebook just like I do with my camera. Then maybe one day I’ll be able to show my works prouder than ever before.

Btw. Now I can say that I’m from three places. Born on the side of Russia, from Finland and living in Belgium. The only country I’m from is the world itself.

I’ve been really busy with all my stuff. REALLY busy.

I just remembered how I used to feel about certain things years and years ago. About seven years ago I used to be amazingly enthusiastic about learning certain skills on PC(I call it “my hacker days”, because I wanted to become one). I still remember those evenings when I came home rag tired after 11 hours school days, started my computer and sat until 3.a.m practising. It didn’t matter how tired I was, or how busy, I just wanted to improve. I still use a lot of things I learned back then. So I’ve been thinking and decided why not going back to that and see where it takes me?

Yeah. Besides all that I’ve been learning flash programming once again. This means that soon enough I’ll start making own flash projects and upload em’ here. It also eases for me to create animated .gif –files, so I already started animating things.

The drawing is also doing good. I’ve been improving a lot. I sketch everything and as much as possible. This means capturing the life itself into the notebook. Also starting to learn how to sketch with both hands at the same time. I even had to dedicate a whole week to improve my left hands accuracy.

Besides all that madness I still plan on writing things. Unless I write it, I illustrate or even animate it.

I also have loads of new photos. Soon I’m going to live in Belgium for 4months. This will mean even more photography. While there, I’ll concentrate on getting improvements on all the other fields I’m doing. Now, more than ever, I believe in my cause.

I think it’s about time to reveal what I’m planning.

First of all, I trained myself to become both handed. This means that now I’m what is called ‘ambidextrous’. I intended to become ambidextrous artist. I learn things(everything I do, not only hand skills) the regular way and also in mirror -mode. I also learn to draw with both hands at the same time.

For the past months I’ve been studying more advanced drawing(and million other things as well). Why? I really think I want to tell stories with images. It’s not even that much about drawing, as it is to tell things with images. It’s been haunting me for way too many years now. I know EXACTLY what I would do if I had the right drawing skills, but I don’t. At least not yet, and to me, it’s like a cruel joke. I believe that anything can be achieved with hard practice, so I will drill down every imaginable aspect of drawing until I’ll get it the way I need it to be.

Overall I’ve become pretty much obsessed with everything. I feel like even ten lifetimes wouldn’t be enough for me. Anyway, I think it’s time to start moving on. It’s time of progress and time of change. Time to go completely mad!

Here’s the drill. I’ve made some progress all right, but planes don’t fly in space. I’m heading straight for the stars, so I’ll need to work harder. I’ve made far from where I started. I can still remember of not having ANY skills at all. Just to consider that I used to be the most unskilled kid, good only in getting into fights and losing them with the taste of blood in my mouth. Only thing I had was my spirit. And in the end, it’s the most powerful thing to have.

I’ve made tremendous progress in few months. I’m not the same artist as I was when submitting my last painting. Only to consider my improvements until then; is like a small pebble on the road to the mountains top. And still, I have a long journey to travel. It will take me about another two months until I’ll start submitting actual drawings again(however, few experimental works might pop up).

What else? I don’t want to speak about my plans until they’re realised. However, I mark my word that when my ‘art training’ is finished, something awesome and crazy will be revealed.


Also, I’m still feeling insecure about writing that book. I’m not sure if I have enough time to write it and I’m not sure if there’s any point in writing it since I don’t know if people really like my pieces or not. Maybe I should write more short stories and see if I should go on after some feedback(which I probably will never receive anyway[LOL]). Maybe I’ll end up drawing comics and write the book after(if) people like my storylines. Anyway, I decided to wait a while longer on this matter.